Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
