Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
