I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
