i permit you to call me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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