the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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