So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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