dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
