Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize