Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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