She's JV to your varsity
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
