i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
