One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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