wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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