Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
