I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
