what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
