Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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