i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
