She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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