The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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