Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dick very happy bro
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
