Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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