The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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