He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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