he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
