Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
