I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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