she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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