Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
