Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
