I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
