I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
