you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
