You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Rumble strips road head = magical
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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