Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
