dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
