Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
