There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
