i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
