at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
birth control should be required to get into college
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
