btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
