i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
