I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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