my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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