And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
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Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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