Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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