I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There r osticjed everywhere
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
