I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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