im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
