Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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