Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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