I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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