You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
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We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize