I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
