The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
