i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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