Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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