You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
