if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
