How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't deserve a penis
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize