a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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