you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
