New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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