You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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