I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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